An article from QQ
I am having lots of thoughts recently. This is some reflections or inspirations from peoples around me, and of course, part of it is my own problems. All the thoughts are about: What is the TRUE meaning of life?!
Every book, everyone, even our parents and our school teachers will always tell us to do this and that so that you can achieve something in your life in order to pursue your happiness.
So, we all work hard in order to follow the advice given by the books and someone that we respect the most in our life, to pursue happiness. We study hard in order to score as many ‘A’ as possible until we do not have time to exercise, join any association or committee, keep as many insider information as possible for exam in order to be the top scorer. We do not learn how to share information with others, do not learn the social skills, we do not know how to show our care to our friends. What we learn is to be selfish, jealous and suspicious! We sad when people do better than us. We critic them, we backstab them, we black mail them, do not even want to friend them. We just want to become the top student, top employee, and top people!!
After some time, we realised that we become more and more unhappy. We want to share our problem with our friends, yet no one was having time for us. Then only we found that we do not have friend. Or the friends around us are same like us. They also are having problems like us. We discuss our problems together; we complaints together, and then we conclude that: it’s their entire fault! Why they treat us like that? Why we always having bad luck, meeting lousy people?? Why it’s so unfair for us? Why only us having these problems?? Why? WHY???????
What is the true meaning for our life? Earn big money? Top manager for a MNC? Stay in banglo, driving branded car, wearing luxury accessories?
Does more things that we own = we are happier?
Is the target of your friend = your own target?
Is your siblings mission in life = your life too?
One question that you may want to ask yourself now is, do you want to live under people’s expectation forever? Your boss may tell you: to become a good leader, you need to portrait a professional image. The rules are: not to hang around with subordinates, do not talk much in office, only have lunch with manager, always say yes to the requests from manager, no matter it is within your ability your power, etc. So, we follow, in order for us to own the happiness.
In fact, you are a ‘freestyler’. You hate restrictions and constraints, rules and good practice. You like to hang around and have lunch with your subordinates because they are honest and frank to you. You do not need to worry they will black mail you. They will not give you any lecture during lunch time, when you are enjoying your meal and trying to stop think about the work because your brain need to rest! You hope to have some negotiation power with manager on their requests as they may not the one who understands the whole situation and they are not the one who is doing the job but you and your subordinates! (Please allow me to shout here: Shut Up!!!!!!!!!!!)
There was a dark time in my life where I start to hate myself because I was living under my father’s expectation. He hopes me to follow my brother’s path, study science stream on form 4 &5. In order not to disappointed him, as I am a filial daughter and the only daughters that doing quite well in study (ahem…). After I got my SPM result, he hopes me to study Form Six. Again, this is the path that my brother owned before. I know it is not the way I want. I wasn’t good in science, I am not as hard working as my brother and the most important thing that is: I want to study together with the boy that I admired him few years back! (shame to admit here yet no regret with the decision! ^^)
I was having big fight with my father and even made the decision to stop my study and work in Singapore. I just want to stop this ‘expectation’ game! Finally, my father gave in and I won!! The feeling is so good and I can tell myself that: hmm, I am the ‘real’ adult now! I can decide things that I want in my life!!
But now, it seems like I am experiencing another dark time of my life. I owned an apartment & car (local made), good career with okay salary (comparing with local companies aspect), a small achievement in my career, a caring boyfriend (although not a rich one). I should be happy. In fact, somewhere deep in my heart is telling me that I am not.
I try to search the definition of ‘HAPPY’. I read books, watch movies, observed happy peoples around me. There is no standard answer for it. I do not understand. The word itself is only made up by five characters. Normally the lesser characters the word are, the easier to understand! This is what my school teacher taught!
Recently, I think I have figured out something.
1. No expectation = HAPPY
Do not set any expectation. Do not expect everything to be happening as what you think or expect. This is life, man! Everything surrounding us is so lively! They are not computers or robots. They have their own thinking, so as you! How can you ask the people that you dealt with will give the same answer that you want? If this really happens, then she is just the same as you. She is you!! Why this world need to have two persons living in the same space while your thinking and behaviours are same?
You need to live and work for yourself. It is okay not to live under people’s expectation. You can pursue things you want, be brave!! You’re so unique, you have lots of creativity! You need to do something special for yourself, something is worth to make you proud to be yourself!
2. Forgive & be understanding
We are not happy because others do not meet our expectation, so we angry and remember how stupid she is and the things she did! We are making her mistake to punished ourself! We remember every single mistake she did. We ‘zoom’ the mistake, we enlarge it, remind ourself to be angry with it.
Think back, is there a need to do so? Is our life all about others mistake? Have we do any mistake before? Have we help them to understand the impact of the mistake and not to repeat it again? How we were live when we did the mistake? This is something about karma. If we can stop it today, then all the sad stories will stop. This is something I believe and trying to do better.
I still looking ways to help myself to gain more happiness in my life. There are lots of philosophy in life yet personally I think happy is the most important principle. I do not want to let my happiness run away from me. I do not want to become an unhappy person as my smile is the most precious thing that I can give to the persons care about me. I am learning to become a better, lovely, and pretty person. I believe I can do it!
How about you?
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